In one of the most powerful, gut-wrenching and inspirational podcast episodes, Jen goes one-on-one with celebrity trainer, peak performance health coach, and motivational speaker Ted Ryce. Ted has worked with Fortune 500 CEOs, busy professionals and celebrities, including Richard Branson, Ricky Martin, and Robert Downey, Jr.
But what many don't know about Ted is that his path to becoming a high-performance coach was beset by the unimaginable tragedy that crushed the entire South Florida community and captured the nation's attention after his 9-year-old brother, Jimmy Ryce, was kidnapped, raped, and murdered at the hands of a sexual predator on his way home from school.
But the extraordinary circumstances that Ted lived through didn't stop there. In this podcast episode, they discuss how Ted reinvented himself to pursue a legendary life after losing his entire family over the years, his decision to ride rollercoasters at Universal Studios after burying his father that inspired his theory, "You can't be sad on a rollercoaster!" He also shares how he turned his pain into power by helping others through health and fitness, the secret to staying fit at any age, ways to reduce unmanaged stress, depression and anxiety, and the controversial "magic ratio" for achieving happiness.
Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to REINVENTED with Jen Eckhart on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube. You can also follow @JenniferEckhart on Instagram and Twitter. Thanks for listening!
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REINVENTED With Celebrity Trainer Ted Ryce
JE: I have a question for my audience. If you were to define what it means to live a legendary life, what would you say? For some, that might mean having a successful career. To others, it might mean getting married and starting a family. Maybe it's leaving a legacy or a lasting mark on this Earth by coming up with a world-changing product, company or idea. Maybe living a legendary life to you is simply being a good person. It’s like the Avicii song goes. “One day, you will leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember.”
My next guest on this show helps people do that, which is to live legendary lives, so much so that he's the host of the Legendary Life Podcast. He's a leading personal trainer and peak performance health coach who has worked with Fortune 500 CEOs, professionals, and celebrities, including Richard Branson, Ricky Martin, and Robert Downey Jr. It is an honor welcoming my friend, someone I deeply admire, to this show. Ted Ryce, welcome to the show.
TR: Thanks so much. I’m happy to be here. It has been a long time coming.
JE: I'm glad we were able to nail this down. I have to say. You are hard to pin down on the calendar because you are either in Brazil jumping out of airplanes, diving with bull sharks, speaking on stages across the country or riding roller coasters at Universal Studios.
TR: That's how I do. That's what I do. We are starting that way, and it sounds like, “This guy is going to be annoying. He does all this cool stuff,” but there's a deeper meaning or deeper reason behind all that. We've already talked about it. We are going to get into that in this episode. I’ve chosen to live life like this. It has been therapeutic.
JE: You've chosen to live a legendary life. Am I wrong?
TR: My version of it, for sure.
JE: I'm excited to have you on my show because to me, you are not only a legendary person who happens to also ride roller coasters in his free time but you have a remarkable, jaw-dropping story of reinvention in the aftermath of enduring unspeakable tragedy. I don’t mean to start this episode off on a negative note. We are going to get to some positive territory but it's important for my audience to understand our connection and how we came to know one another.
For those who aren't familiar with your incredible story and your path to becoming a high-performance person, it was beset by the tragedy that you personally needed to overcome. You do all these things because it's therapeutic for you. Are you able to share a timeline starting from 1991 and walk us through what you have been through and what you've managed to overcome to get to where you are?
TR: It starts way before that. My biological mother was mentally ill to the point where my dad had to leave her. In those days, in the ‘80s, that was unheard of. The parents would stay with the father. She was emotionally abusive and physically abusive. It wasn't her fault. She was mentally ill. As I realized later on in life, that's the root of everything that happened.
She died in 1991 in a car accident during a weekend when I was supposed to go over to visit her with my sister. She was a chain smoker. A lot of people who are mentally ill use cigarettes or nicotine to keep themselves stimulated. I didn't want to go over there and breathe in smoke. It was depressing. I was 13 or 14. She ended up dying. I always say she died in a car accident but there wasn't any other car involved. She ran off the road straight into a tree. It was a suicide. I came to realize that later on.
To put context into that, my father and stepmother who are heroes to many people, and rightfully so with what they've done, got laws changed. They met with two Presidents, which were Bill Clinton and George Bush. Growing up with them, they were alcoholics. They were workaholics. They were emotionally abusive. I love them but the truth is the truth.
In the context of all that, at fourteen years old, my biological mother dies. I've got these parents who are checked out emotionally. That's what happens when you do drugs like alcohol constantly. You disconnect. Instead of putting me into therapy, they sat me down, told me what happened, and expected that I would get over it.
What I did was I started using drugs and started smoking weed. I got arrested a bunch of times. Those were for only the things that I got caught for. I ended up stealing a car and running away from home. It was an interesting time. Eventually, I started to pull my act together. When I was eighteen, I had to be put in special programs to make it through high school. As soon as I got into college, I had to go to community college because my grades were so bad even though my test scores were high. I had an A-plus for skipping class and smoking weed.
JE: Miami Dade Community College. Was that the one?
TR: I did go to that one.
JE: We have that in common. I did a summer school class there. I had to take math there. Continue with your amazing story.
TR: As I'm starting to pull my life together because I'm out of my house, my parents wisely realized we were clashing too much. They were like, “You don't have to live on this street but you can't stay here. Here's an apartment in Kendall.” I was grateful for it. I started pulling my life together. I love being in college and choosing my classes. I felt I needed to be in control. That's probably why I run a business. I'm completely unemployable. I can't hold down a job, so I got to work for myself.
As that was starting to happen, I skipped school again one day because my parents were out of town. I was going to meet my friend, Fred, down at my parent’s house in the Redlands. My little nine-year-old brother wasn't home. My parents called and they didn't expect me to pick up the phone. I'm like, “What's up? It’s party time.” I didn't say that to them.
They asked, “Where's Jimmy?” I said, “I don't know. He's not here yet.” I was speaking to my stepmom. She freaked out right away. I was like, “He’s not here. It's not that big of a deal,” but something in her said, “I got to come home right away,” and they did. The cops got involved. We called the police and a search started. We didn't find him that day. I don't know if you know the whole story but the FBI got involved. I was interrogated. They interrogated the whole family.
JE: I'm sitting here crying because I am very familiar with the story but I know that a lot of my audience out there isn't. As difficult as it may be, I know it is for you. Each time you recount this story and have to live it over and over. It’s not lost on me how difficult it is but it is important to share these stories. Your father was instrumental in getting legislation passed by presidents and has helped many along the way.
I will let you continue with the story but I have always felt a strong connection to your family even though we've never even met. I don't know if it has to do with us both growing up in the South Florida community. My brother was a year younger than yours at the time that this happened. Eerily enough, his name was also Jimmy. That's why it struck a chord with me even at the age of five years old. Continue. In 1995, explain what happened.
TR: It got so crazy. The FBI got involved. I was interrogated several times. They said, “If you remember anything, give us a call or if you think of someone.” I called them one night. I was sitting there with my friend, Fred, who was going to be babysitting Jim that day. We were sitting there smoking weed and drinking beer. I called the FBI. I said, “I remembered something.” They were like, “Where are you?” They didn't give a shit what I was talking about. They wanted to know where I was. They came over and we were sitting there. The bong and the beers were out. I was not 21 yet. I was nineteen. They did not give a shit. I didn't give a shit either. I'm like, “We are smoking.” They didn't do anything.
It was crazy what we went through. I get it. They had to rule out the family. I don't want to change gears too much but there was a case right before this where someone's children were found killed and she had made this story up. I forgot the name of the woman but it turned out to be her. The connection I drew was like, “They got to check out the family first.” I was there that day. It was unusual that I had skipped school but nothing was found. They'd never found anything, not only with us but in general. They didn't know what had happened to him.
The Miami Police Department got involved. The homicide department got involved trying to figure out, “If he has been missing this long, something happened to him.” They were finally able to figure out what had happened because Jimmy went missing and left a book bag behind. His book bag was missing as well. It was all over the news. It was national news at the time but very much a focus of local news.
A woman who lived a mile away from us had some jewelry, and also a gun went missing from her place. She had this guy working for her, and she thought that he might have stolen the jewelry from her and the gun. She went into his trailer, which was on her property at the time. She found the thing she was looking for. She also found my brother's book bag in the closet. We had put up missing posters of Jimmy. It is a very famous photo. There was a missing poster of him and the book bag as well. That led to him being picked up, interrogated, and eventually confessing to what he did.
He told people what had happened. He had kidnapped Jim while Jim was dropped off at the bus stop that day. He took him to his trailer, raped him, and ended up killing him by shooting him when Jim tried to escape when he heard the helicopters. That was according to his story. He tried to dispose of the body. He ended up leading people to Jim's body. He was on death row for twenty years. It is a crazy story.
The point is that I got a call at 3:00 AM from the FBI. It was the strangest call I've ever gotten, even with all the robocalls and the craziness that we get these days. It was a male FBI officer. He said, “Your family needs you. We found Jimmy.” I was like, “Is he okay?” I almost felt like he almost laughed a little. I can only imagine what it must be like to be an FBI officer and have to deal with the worst of the worst like serial killers and missing children.
His reaction was strange. He didn't answer the question. He just said, “You need to go be with your family now.” It was 3:00 AM. I went home and then we found out what had happened. Everything was explained to us. That ended the nightmare of not knowing what had happened to him. When someone goes missing, all you want to know is like, “What happened? Is he okay? Is someone living with him now? Is he dead?”
JE: It’s the not knowing part.
TR: As hard as it was to hear what had happened to him, I'm glad we know because it closes that chapter and ends that open loop. Another nightmare started from dealing with the reality of all this buildup, all the community that tried to help us find Jim, and all the craziness that we endured from the multiple interrogations and lie detector tests. Jim was gone and it was in a horrible way. He had suffered greatly, as you could imagine, being kidnapped, held against his will, raped multiple times, and eventually shot and killed. We had to deal with this is what happened to someone who we love so much.
I fell into a spiral of depression. It broke my family and broke me personally. Unfortunately, the story didn't end there. My stepmother died of a heart attack in 2009, and then my sister ended up putting a gun in her mouth and taking her own life in 2012 right at the end of the year. It was not great timing. I was getting ready to go out for New Year's and made it through Christmas. People think that change takes a long time to happen. It's bullshit. You change within seconds.
“People think that change takes a long time to happen. You change within seconds. ”
When I learned about my brother, I changed within seconds. It was almost instantly. It takes a while for the chemistry and the stress hormones to kick in. When I heard what happened to my sister, it was the same thing. We can talk a little bit later about how change can happen in a positive direction because I don't want people to be crushed for this. They are like, “I don't want to listen to this anymore. I want to go.”
JE: There is a happy ending. That's why you are on this show because you have managed to reinvent yourself in the aftermath of such unimaginable circumstances. I have celebrities, public figures, and high-profile CEOs on this show. You are a celebrity to me. When I first reached out to you, I regret it because I understand how that could have been triggering for you.
I messaged you out of the blue one day with a photo of me on the cover of the Miami Herald when I was five years old, alongside my mom and my brother, Jimmy, who was a year younger than your brother at the time. I was photographed praying for you, your brother, Jimmy, and your entire family. As strange as this sounds, I've always felt a strong connection to your story.
It was an awakening moment for me and the entire South Florida community. It captured the nation's attention as to how short and precious life is. At your lowest point, you realized that the choices you were making in life were only adding to your pain. You and I had discussed this at great length with each other prior to even taping this episode. You resolved to change and start fresh, clean the slate, and accept the past. How did you manage to completely reinvent your life?
TR: We all know when we are stuck in a spiral of negativity. It’s a downward spiral. I felt that way. I'm not sure exactly when it was or if it was one instance or if I was thinking about it because my mind was fried from what it had been through. I didn't want to live that way. I was young. I had a whole life ahead of me. We will talk a little bit about this because my story won't scale for you. That means if you read this, you are like, “I don't relate. I've never had a family member murdered or someone committing suicide.” Hopefully not, but maybe you have.
You may not relate to the story or what I do, but I'm going to make it very relatable because there are principles here that work for people. My story won't scale for you. That means you can't do what I did exactly. You haven’t been through what I have been through. You may not do what I did and have it work for you but the principles work for every human being.
JE: It's not a one-size-fits-all strategy.
TR: It started with an idea. The idea was like, “Life can be better than this. I've got years ahead of me. Is this how I'm going to be living?” I was never looking at a gun. I couldn't afford a gun. I was so broke at one point. I never thought, “I'm going to take a bunch of pills or anything like that,” but I was fading away, for sure. I didn't want that. We are all going to die anyway. Unfortunately, that's part of the contract we all sign when we are born unknowingly. It is part of how it has always been or maybe not always. We will see. It’s being uploaded into the Cloud or whatever. I don't know. That's the contract.
I didn't want to live the rest of my life like that and started to figure things out. The first thing I figured out was that health is part of healing. One of the ways you can heal yourself is by focusing on your health. Serendipitously, I bounced around. I dropped out of school. I couldn't focus on textbooks after what had happened. My brain was fried from that. It was fried from the stress.
“One of the ways you can heal yourself is by focusing on your health.”
That's something that we can talk about too because that's something that will be relatable for every single person reading. We all have a cup. Depending on how full our cup is that's indicative of how much energy we have. The more empty our cups, the more we take away from ourselves through stress, overwork, and neglect.
Celebrity Trainer: Depending on how full our cup is, that's indicative of how much energy we have.
JE: You can't pour from an empty cup.
TR: That's what a lot of people try to do. That's what I was trying to do. I was trying to get my life together but I didn't have the energy to do it. How did I fill my cup up? I started focusing on my health. My stress level was down. What we are talking about when we are talking about trauma or a bad fucking day is we are talking about stress. Stress empties our cup and we have to proactively put it back in.
I always struggle with how to tell this story of the reinvention. One thing I learned is this. Not only will you have these things happen to you in life but we are all going to have things happen to every single one of us. The best-case scenario is that you live long enough to see your parents die. That's going to suck but that's part of life. It's how things have been.
What I started realizing is that you got to keep your cup full. You have to work on it all the time. What happens to a lot of people and to a lot of people in COVID, sometimes, it was their fault, and sometimes, it was circumstance. A lot of people had empty cups and they got smashed with more stress. That's what we had to deal with. They got worse off as a result.
JE: You and I had a conversation over Zoom back in 2020. We were getting to know one another. We shared some pretty heavy stuff. We were discussing trauma, sexual assault, prison, heartbreak, divorce, and growing up in Miami, Florida. I was in a pretty dark place. Talking to you was therapeutic for me. I asked you, “How do you pull yourself out of a dark place when you are overcome with feelings of depression or grief on days you find it hard to get out of bed in the morning?” There are days when I don't have the motivation to go work out. You sink into this funk. I'm curious. This will resonate with my audience. What do you do when you find yourself slipping back into that negative head space? What do you do to lift yourself out of that?
TR: It's very different. I get the game. I understand the process. The first thing is that I'm aware of it. For a lot of us, what we don't realize is that we internalize our negative feelings. That's our reality. In reality, some people have hard lives but for most of us, our lives are pretty good but we are having bad moments. It’s realizing that our thoughts are feelings. They come and go. They change. Some days, you are up and some days, you are down.
You are the blue sky. You are not the weather. The weather changes all the time. Sometimes, it's super sunny and the clouds are out and it's beautiful. Other times, it's gloomy, and there's light rain. Sometimes, there's lightning and storms. You are that sky that's always there. No matter if it's day or night or raining or sunny, that's you. Whenever you start to see the weather change negatively, you've got to do something to change it.
JE: I would be like, “I see storm clouds approaching. It’s time to kick it into high gear, be proactive, go lift some weights, go for a run, and go listen to some music.”
TR: Here's the thing, People will hear that and they are like, “I don't run. You can take that run and shove it you know where.” I had a client say that when he was talking about how someone told him what to do when he was very stressed out. What we have to do is find out what is that thing for you. I want to give you an example of this. My dad passed away when he was 76. He lived a full life. He had been through a lot but he had a lot of good moments. He made it to 76.
It was still very tough for me to lose my last family member. I could feel the storm clouds rolling in. After his funeral in Miami, I went to Orlando. I went to Universal Studios and hopped on a roller coaster, a bunch of them. The VelociCoaster in Universal is the best roller coaster I have ever been on in my life. I want to tell you why that matters because some people are like, “What kind of nutcase goes to the happiest place?”
JE: They are like, “Who rides a roller coaster after burying his father?” I get it.
TR: You can't be sad on a roller coaster because you are so in the moment. It changes your emotional state. You might get sad a little bit later. If you are reading or for you, Jennifer, I don't know how big of a fan of roller coasters you are.
JE: I love them. I’m going to go ride one after this episode. Do they still have The Hulk at Universal Studios?
TR: They do. It was shaky, though.
JE: They need to do maybe some WD-40. Is Dueling Dragon still there? That was one of my favorites, too.
TR: They've changed it to Hagrid’s Motorbike Ride, which is, in my opinion, a superior experience. It’s great. You got to go back.
JE: I will take your word for it. I know I'm long overdue. I've missed Star Wars World and Harry Potter World. There are all these worlds over there. Maybe we can go together and call it a day. Let's call each other when we get depressed. How about that? We will then go ride a bunch of rides together.
TR: Here's the problem. Here's one thing. This is key. If you get this, you will start to understand. You will put yourself in control of yourself. We were never taught how to deal with our negative emotions. If you don't deal with them, you get caught in a negative spiral. Negative thoughts and feelings need to lead to negative behaviors, which lead to more negative thoughts and feelings. That's the downward spiral, and then you wonder, “How did I get here?”
You can also go in an upward spiral. The key to that is this. You can't think yourself out of a negative emotional state. You can't say, “Why did this happen to me or what should I do now? This is horrible.” You have to do something. This has to do with a concept called embodied learning. It's the same thing. You can watch an entire YouTube series on how to ride a bike or drive a car but you have to do it. That's how human beings learn. It's your way to changing your physiology.
“You can’t think yourself out of a negative emotional state. You have to do something. ”
Some people may say, “I can't even get out of bed, let alone go for a walk or ride a roller coaster.” That's a different situation. You probably need some help. That may be therapy or a coach that is someone good. A lot of people knock on therapists but I have been in therapy throughout the years. A great therapist or coach will help you.
JE: I have been in therapy for a few years. I can’t recommend it enough. I don't even know if this is weird or not but I firmly believe that everybody should be in therapy. Honestly, everyone has a form of unresolved trauma in their life in some form or fashion. Maybe others were worse than you. It doesn't matter. If we don't talk about it or don't challenge the stigma, then we are going to internalize all of this. Thoughts become things.
If it's okay with you, I wanted to take a minute to read an Instagram post of yours because of how powerful it is. It goes along with what you were sharing about being at Universal Studios in the aftermath of burying your father. Here it goes. Ted posted a photo of him at Universal Studios. It is a great photo. If you are not following Ted Ryce on Instagram, Twitter, or in social media, go do it. You won't regret it.
He wrote, “Have you ever tried being sad on a roller coaster? It doesn't work. I had a great conversation with Jennifer Eckhart yesterday about getting past tough times when you feel like your life is stuck and never going to get better. During our conversation, I shared how I took a vacation to Universal Studios after my dad died. Why? It’s because it's impossible to be sad while riding a roller coaster. The thrill of the speed and loops drives out all other feelings. You are present in the moment, and your attention is 100% focused on the experience, hoping you will survive the ride. It’s much like life.”
“This is important because when we're stuck in a negative state of mind, it can feel like it will never end. Like there's no hope of ever feeling anything good ever again. That's a lie. It takes one roller coaster ride to disprove this theory our minds come up with. There's a big difference between feeling stuck and being stuck. It takes one experience to shift our mood, and then we are not as stuck as we think. More importantly, we have more power over how we feel than many of us realize. Don't let negativity overtake you. Grieve and feel your feelings. Cry, scream, and yell if you need to but always come back. Always come back to your true self.”
When you posted that, I got chills. One of my favorite movies is Elizabethtown with Orlando Bloom and Susan Sarandon. I don't know if you've watched it but the movie's overall message is powerful about life after loss and how to experience joy in the aftermath of tragedy. One of my favorite quotes from the movie is, “Sadness is easier because it's surrender. I say, make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.” Besides riding roller coasters, what crazy things do I have to know? When I go on your Instagram, you are either diving with bull sharks or jumping out of planes. What things have you done outside of your comfort zone that has been transformative in how you live your life?
TR: With the bull shark thing, I can tell you the story, and I would be happy to but I will say this. There's a great quote from the psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the grandfather of flow. What we are talking about here and what the Instagram post that you read is that the flow states. How do we come back and be present in the moment instead of being like, “I messed up my life. How terrible has my life been?” We are worried about the future like, “Am I going to have my job next week? Is my business going to continue to be successful?”
I was at an event. People are doing so well. These entrepreneurs that I was with, a lot of them have these thoughts like, “Is the money going to keep coming in? We are having million-dollar months but is that going to keep happening?” You can't control that. Guilt doesn't fix the past. Worrying doesn't change the future. If worrying does change the future, it's not for the better. You've got to be present in the moment. It’s finding things that get you present in the moment.
Celebrity Trainer: Worrying doesn't change the future. You have to be present at the moment.
With Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, I can't remember his quote verbatim. What he said was that when we feel our best, it's not usually doing something like watching TV or shoving food in our faces, although that can be good. I'm loving The Mandalorian. The Witcher came out with season two. When we feel our best, we are doing things that challenge us because that challenge gets us focused. I do things that challenge me.
JE: Is he the one who said, “Seek more discomfort in your life.” Was that from him or did somebody else coin that phrase? I love that. When I think of that, I do think of doing things that make you uncomfortable or that do get you out of your comfort zone and challenge your fears because it, in turn, does help anxiety.
TR: I don't know if he said that particular one or not, but that would've come from him. A lot of people say, “Seek discomfort.” We know scientifically why it works. Many of us, including a lot of the people I work with who run businesses and successful companies or are executives in successful companies, still have a lot of anxieties about different things. I focus on health or at least that's what I trick them into thinking. We lose 20 pounds but we also work on other things to make sure that there's a full transformation in the process.
The way to lower anxiety, in part, is through exposure. This is key because instead of saying, “Seek discomfort,” there's another quote I like. This one is by the late American mythologist, Joseph Campbell. He said, “The cave that you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.” I don't know what that brings up for you, but for me, what that means is this. We have things in our life that we are afraid of doing. We are afraid to ask the girl out. We are afraid to have that tough conversation with our spouse. We are afraid to face how out of shape we've become.
We all have these fears, and instead of charging forward with ferocity, we shy away from them. When we get close to even dealing with the problems, developing more awareness, and perhaps thinking of a solution to it, it starts to bring our stress and anxiety up. We feel bad and back away. When I was in Florianópolis, Brazil, and I was at this peak on a mountain that I had hiked up an hour to get to for the beautiful view, I was like, “If I fall over, I'm going to die or at least be horribly injured.”
You are afraid to step on a stage. You are afraid to speak up in a meeting. You are afraid to have that conversation with your spouse. You are afraid to realize and admit how out of shape you've gotten. If you take steps to fix it, that gives you the treasure. The way we seek treasure, at least for most Americans, is by scrolling on social media.
JE: We are in front of screens.
TR: We are on Amazon. We are like, “Guilt.com is having a sale. Maybe that Chanel or Gucci purse is going to fix some things.
JE: We are like, “Making all these purchases will help me feel better.”
TR: I love luxury stuff. It's cool. I like things. We all like things. Things that make us happy for a second alter our states for a minute but they don't alter our traits. The truth about people driving a Ferrari like a lot of my clients back in Miami Beach, is it’s their fucking car. It’s cool but it’s a car that they go to work in and come back home in.
“Things that make us happy for a second alter our states for a minute but don’t alter our traits. ”
JE: A few days before your father died, he told you, “I want you to live a rich life.” You shared something again on social media that was very profound. You said, “For me, a rich life means rich in experiences and connection with others.” I do recall you saying, “I like nice cars, clothes, and watches as everyone else does but we don't evolve through buying stuff. If you are not happy now, there's no house, no car, no amount of money or another person that's going to change that. Happiness is an inside job.” In your podcast, you shared that there is a magic formula or a magic ratio to happiness and positivity. Are you able to reveal what that is on the show?
TR: Of course. It's a little controversial.
JE: That's okay. We like controversy on here.
TR: Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist, studied positivity. What she figured out was that we have a negativity bias. Other people have figured out that we, human beings, have a negative bias. If you get 100 compliments but with that 1 criticism, that's the one that stands out. You get 100 reviews for your business but for that critical one, you are like, “No.”
JE: It eats away at you.
TR: It happens to me on my podcast. It happens to us. Why are we like that? Our brains are designed to detect threats. Happy moments are awesome but a threat could end you. At least in America, we are not worried. Our lives are not in danger. It's more this stressful thing or social stress.
JE: That is, if we don't go to war with Russia.
TR: I'm not the one to talk about that. I don't know about politics. Hopefully, that doesn't happen. You don't get COVID, for example. Our brains are wired for this. If you've had a tough childhood or you have been through something in adulthood that was pretty tough like a divorce, someone cheating on you or what you have been through, that can make you a little more prone to negativity. Why? That's your body trying to protect you. You are trying to be more on guard about threats in your environment.
JE: I live in a state of hypervigilance. I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. It’s something you have to work on every day. It's not like flipping a light switch, and it goes away. It's difficult. It's hard.
TR: How do we bring that hypervigilance back down? The key is that Barbara Fredrickson figured out that for every negative event in your life, you need to have at least three positive events to cancel it out. I want to talk about this because if you are in a relationship where you have an abusive spouse, you get punched in the face, and you need to have sex, go out to dinner, watch a movie, and then everything else. It doesn't work that way. That has been some of the criticism. The point is important.
Celebrity Trainer: For every negative event in your life, you need at least three positive events to cancel it out.
There's a psychologist, John Gottman, who has a similar ratio with relationships. One negative event in a relationship needs five positive ones. Whether it's 3 or 5, the point is this. You've got to realize that if you have been through a lot of negativity, you've got to proactively seek out more positive experiences. Here's another key. Someone would say, “Chocolate is delicious. That's a positive experience for me.”
JE: Open some Ben & Jerry's. That's a good day.
TR: Cookie dough? There’s also The Tonight Dough by Jimmy Fallon Ben & Jerry’s flavor.
JE: Milk and Cookies is a good one. Although, it’s weird. We have an ice cream theft problem here in Manhattan. When you go into a Duane Reade or a Rite Aid, they are having to put locks on the freezers because people are legit walking out with ice cream. It’s quite a problem here in New York City, in case you ever come here and decide to purchase ice cream.
TR: I'm going to come and visit. I've got a friend there who lives in Queens and some very good friends who live in Manhattan.
JE: I'm one of them.
TR: We need to meet in person. Even in that story you said, why do people do everything that they do? They are either trying to get away from pain or they’re seeking pleasure. People are stealing this ice cream, trying to feel better about themselves. That's not making it okay. I'm not sympathetic to them but empathetic, trying to understand what's driving the behavior. That's not a positive thing because you get arrested. It doesn't improve your life.
The thing is this. We've got to go out of our way to seek out those positive experiences. As what I was alluding to earlier, it's not about positive experiences. It's about experiences that lead to positive change. There's a big difference there. We could say, “If I go out to eat three times, that will counterbalance the hard talk I had with my employee,” but it's not quite like that. You've got to do things that challenge you and lead to not just a change in your mood. That's what alcohol does. That's what ice cream does. There's a side effect. You become an alcoholic if you use alcohol to deal with your stress. If you eat too much to deal with your stress, you become fat and unhealthy.
JE: It’s cause and effect.
TR: We've got to find the ways that don't change our state because then, we must keep going back. You can't drink enough alcohol. You can't eat enough food. It doesn't solve the problem, is what I'm trying to say. We need to become better versions of ourselves, and that's through things that are usually quite difficult. I did Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I'm doing a cave diving certification. Sometimes, I don't even like It.
JE: Didn't you even do Ashwagandha? Didn't you share a story about when you did a mushroom?
TR: It’s Ayahuasca.
JE: I butchered that.
TR: Ashwagandha is an herb.
JE: It’s an herb that helps with managing stress and anxiety. What you did is different. Legend has it that it does help with trauma.
TR: That's something that I did. It was extremely challenging.
JE: I remember you told me, “This doesn’t tread lightly. This isn't for everyone.”
TR: I do believe it can benefit most people. Certainly, to say that, “You are going through a hard time in life. Go to Costa Rica, Peru or Brazil and drink some Ayahuasca. It will fix everything for you,” you've got to already be on the path. Ayahuasca is a peak experience if you are not doing the work already. Maybe working with a therapist or a coach or exercising meditation, getting acupuncture, regular massages, or whatever that self-care is for you. It’s actual self-care, not caramel cone ice cream or stealing ice cream out of Rite Aid.
JE: Do it the responsible way. I get it.
TR: If you are already on that journey, it can take you to the next level. It certainly did for me and for a lot of the people who I went through those experiences with. You might want to start with other things first.
JE: A lot of high-profile business leaders and entrepreneurs either come on this show or tune in. I wanted to ask you. As someone who helps your clients develop and stick with high-performance healthy habits to lead more successful lives, it's easy to lose focus of your personal health when running a business.
I was speaking to a CEO who was running off to a client dinner, and he was like, “I wanted to get a workout in, and I don't have time.” I'm like, “I’m sure you do. Wake up an extra hour early.” If you want to play the long game in business, it's in your best interest to take your personal health and make it a priority. It is all about time management and stress management. What is the secret to staying fit as a busy entrepreneur?
TR: This is going to sound self-serving but I believe it's the answer. You got to get someone like me to hold you accountable. It doesn't have to be me but you got to get someone to show you the strategies and keep you accountable if you are not able to do it on your own or if you are looking for that next level. You've got to make it a commitment. You said, “If you want to play the long game in business,” but there is no other game in business. There is only the long game.
“If you cannot do something alone, you must get someone to show you the strategies and keep you accountable.”
JE: If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.
TR: I had a client in Miami Beach who ended up dying, not because my workouts were so tough. It wasn't like that. He had neglected his health to the point that he would come late to train with me. He would leave the sessions early. I don't put up with that behavior anymore but I was in my twenties when this happened.
I liked the guy. He was a good guy but it was business and business. Eventually, with that type of attitude, he stopped training with me. He put me in a situation where I was going to have to drive a long way to his office to train home. I'm like, “I'm not going to do that or you are going to pay extra for it.” He didn't want to pay extra. I said, “I can't do that.”
He was looking for a way to get out, though. That is what I felt. I come to find out a few months later that he got diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer. He's no longer with us. What you got to ask yourself is this, “What do you want your life to look like when you retire, in ten years or whatever that endpoint is for you? What is it that lights you up inside?”
Taking care of your health isn't about, “It’s the right thing to do.” It may or may not be. I'm not here to make a moral argument about it. All I'm saying is if you want to play with your grandchildren, keep speaking on stages, run a company or at least be on the board and be a contributing member, you got to keep your mind sharp. You got to keep your body in shape to do that.
That's the foundation for health. It's not supposed to be something like, “Here's what you care about. Stop caring about that thing. Care about health instead.” No. It's something that you do because it provides the foundation for all the things that you care about. I don't love lifting weights, to be honest. I don’t love it but I do it.
JE: That's a personal trainer saying that. He doesn't like lifting weights but he does it. You are in great shape.
TR: Technically, I'm a health coach. I don't count reps anymore. You have to realize it's the foundation for all the things that you want to do. If the family is your number one thing, it’s going to help you play with your kids or go on those trips and not be the person who is like, “We can't walk up. We can't do the Grand Canyon thing or the zip line because I'm too out of shape. We can’t do the kayaking,” or whatever it might be.
JE: What do you make of the idea of people saying, “You are in your prime. You should be in good shape?” That's always made me scratch my head a bit. You hear, “You are young. You are fit. You are in your 20s or 30s.” I know guys who are in their 50s and are in better shape than they were when they were in their 30s. What's the math behind that? What have you found? Is there an age component there? Can you get in your best shape at any age?
TR: At any age, you can improve your cardiovascular health. You can build muscle and lose fat. Your metabolism doesn't change. That's BS. It's not true. When you get to about 60, some things start to change. Even then, you can go online and see bodybuilders in their 60s and 70s or even 80s or 90s doing it. Most of us, without the help of technology, probably won't even make it to 90. You can build muscle, lose fat, and get in better shape at any age. It's not stopping you but it might make it harder.
What usually makes it hard is not the things that we think, “It's my genes or my metabolism. It’s my age or my hormones. It’s my perimenopausal, postmenopausal or low T andropause.” What's the problem is that as we've gotten older, we have more responsibility. More responsibility usually equals more stress. We don't have the things that we used to do to blow off stress. It also means that we have more money. We are out to dinner. We are eating a lot more. We've gotten comfortable in our ways. I love restaurants with the chef's name on the dessert menu. I'm a foodie if you want to call it that or a connoisseur of good cuisine.
Our behaviors are the thing that shifts and also our mood. We don't feel as good because of the state that we've gotten ourselves into. People talk about obesity in our society. I don't want to open up a can of worms but the focus is on metabolic health. That's true. That's proven by the best evidence and science we have.
I also believe in accepting yourself and everything but the numbers is what the numbers are. You can be a smoker and on your way to an early death but still be a person who makes a positive impact in other people's lives and so on. It's not good for your metabolic health to be overweight. At another level, if you work with your brain, which entrepreneurs and executives do, we know that the more body fat you have on you, the less effective your brain is. There's a part of your brain which is the CEO of your brain. It’s called your prefrontal lobe. That's the seat of what's called your executive function. I like to call it the CEO of your brain.
Celebrity Trainer: You can be a smoker and on your way to an early death but still be someone who positively impacts other people's lives.
It’s the CEO of like, “I want to say no to temptation. I want to stay focused on my goals. I have these things that I'm trying to do.” Everything that you want to do in life is that. It’s all the things like, “I want to be a good parent,” but then we have the other part that's like, “Eat the cookie. Drink the alcohol. Lay in bed and take it easy. You don't need to get up.”
JE: It’s like, “Reach at the bottom for those extra McDonald's fries. You can do it.” I got it.
TR: We have this tug of war. The more overweight you are, the more you are going to lose the battle between, let's say, the angel and the devil on your shoulder. You are going to give in to more temptation. It makes it this loop where it can be hard to get out of.
JE: There is something you said a while back that struck me. If you want to recapture your youth, the best gift you can give yourself isn't a Corvette or a Ferrari. The best gift you can give yourself is to get into the best shape of your life. I so wish that more business leaders, especially those in Corporate America, adhered to this. It would probably fix a lot of problems in a lot of people's lives. It would change us for the good as a society.
As somebody who specializes in helping people over the age of 40 to lose weight, you are on the record saying that losing fat is simple and 100% doable for every single person. What makes it complicated is our unmanaged stress, poor sleep, and unreasonable expectations. Even with the best diet and fitness routine, if your sleep is off, you are wrecked. I even feel that same way. Even taping an interview, if I don't sleep well the night before, the interview is going to suck. Why is sleep the number one most important thing for a better body?
TR: You are like a car that needs the oil changed. If you are driving a supercar, it must be taken out and run at high speeds. You can't let it sit in your garage. It needs a certain level of care. We know what it needs because there's a manual. When you are born, you don't get that manual for how to take care of your body. We didn't know what it was.
Over time, that manual has been written. We know that sleep is one of those things that if you short sleep yourself, you are going to lower your testosterone levels. You are going to lower your brain functioning, how sharp you are, and your decision-making. You are going to be more irritable. There are some individual parts to this or some individualization here. Some people may be more tired and not so irritable but you are going to be suboptimal. There's no way to get around it.
People have tried. There is this polyphasic sleep where you only sleep an hour, then you wake up, do some work, go to sleep for an hour, and wake up. I forget what it was called. People have tried. There's no hack. There's no supplement. There's no workout. There's no diet that can make up for quality sleep. It's one of those things that we need. It's also one of those things that we try to shorten when we want more time to do the things we think are so important but usually, it ends up backfiring.
JE: You can think you are superman or superwoman but without getting a certain amount of sleep and taking care of yourself, you are going to be wrecked. It's going to be a wreck. I am curious. As we wrap up here, as a leading personal trainer and peak performance health coach, I have to say you've worked with people from all walks of life but also a few celebrities, namely Richard Branson, Ricky Martin, Livin la Vida Loca in Miami, and Robert Downey, Jr. Assuming you didn't sign an NDA, is there a funny or interesting story you can share from working with one of them with my audience?
TR: Yeah. I will tell you one thing that I share with people. I was in an entrepreneur group. They were talking about how they spent $10,000 or $20,000 to go visit Richard on Necker Island to network. I'm like, “I'm probably the only person here who Richard Branson paid to spend time with while you guys are dropping thousands.” When I met Richard and walked in, he was like, “You are a fit bastard.” I was like, “This is going to be a good session.”
JE: Those were the first words out of his mouth.
TR: I walked in, and he was like, “You are a fit bastard.” I'm like, “Thank you.”
JE: You were like, “I don't know if that's a backhanded compliment but I will take it.”
TR: He was very English. I took it as a compliment. It was cool to spend time with him. Probably my favorite person was Robert. He was super cool. It was right as he was getting in shape for the Iron Man role. I was in Brazilian jiu-jitsu at the time. I was a competitor. Robert, as many of his fans know, was into Wing Chun or the Bruce Lee martial art. He had started if I remember correctly.
As we were training, we were out in this condo that he was staying in. They had a nice turf out there to do some drills, sprints, and other things. All of a sudden, he started with Wing Chun. We had been talking about martial arts. I lowered my level, grabbed his ankle, and put him on his butt in a few seconds. I was like, “I told you this stuff works.” He was coming at me with the punches and everything. Brazilian jiu-jitsu is better than Wing Chun.
JE: How does that feel to put Iron Man on his ass like that? That's got to count for something. You should put that on a resume.
TR: He wasn't wearing the suit, in his defense. He was wearing athletic shoes and Lululemon.
JE: You had a little bit of an advantage. I get it. I knew you would kick ass on this episode. I worked in corporate media for a national network for nearly a decade prior to launching this show. I never imagined where life would take me. Sometimes, in the waves of change, we do find our true direction. That certainly rings true for you as well. I get emotional listening to you share your story and talk about your health and how you got to where you are. I'm so awestruck by your bravery, resilience, and vulnerability and how you are standing tall and sharing it with the world. I also know that your family is so proud of you and the man that you've become.
TR: Thank you. It has been a pleasure.
JE: You inspire me beyond belief in not only were you able to reinvent yourself but you are paying it forward by sending the elevator back down to those in need of rebuilding their lives, bodies, and mindsets. If you are in need of losing weight and want to get healthy or get fit mentally and physically, reach out to Ted Ryce. He is the man. Let people know how they can find you and can book you.
TR: If you feel like health is that cave that you have been fearing to enter, and you know you need to make a change, the best thing to do is go to LegendaryLifeProgram.com/apply. That's where you can book a fifteen-minute call with me. We can take it from there if that's what you feel you are being called to do, you know you want to get it handled, and you have a big goal for yourself. If you want to lose 5 or 10 pounds, I'm not the person for you. If you want to make a dramatic change in not just how you look but how you feel with your energy levels and you want to crush your stress, then that's the best place to go.
“If you feel like health is that cave you have feared entering, you know you need to change.”
JE: Who better than you? Thank you so much for taking the time to come on to the show to share a bit of your story and how we can all get fit. I'm going to go for a run if that's okay with you.
TR: Do it.
JE: I don't know about you but I do plan on hitting the gym after this show. I got to shed some of that extra holiday weight that we all put on.
TR: I go for a workout or walk every single day.
JE: Thank you again. To my audience, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe to the Reinvented. That's available wherever you tune in to shows. It’s on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. You name it. It’s there. That was Ted Ryce. Thank you for tuning in.
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About Ted Ryce
Ted Ryce is a high-performance coach, world-class fitness trainer, and a longevity evangelist. A leading fitness professional for over 20 years in the Miami Beach area, who has worked with celebrities like Sir Richard Branson, Rick Martin, Robert Downey, Jr., and dozens of CEOs of multimillion-dollar companies.
In addition to his fitness career, Ryce is the host of the top-rated health and fitness podcast called Legendary Life. The Legendary Life Podcast was featured on Washington Post, Inc Magazine, and CBS as one of the top 10 podcasts to listen to while exercising.
Tune in with millions of listeners around the globe as celebrity fitness trainer and high-performance coach Ted Ryce interviews world-renowned experts on the topics of health, fitness, nutrition, longevity, personal development, and more. It’s an entertaining and enlightening way to learn, and the insights you get here will help you upgrade your health, transform your body and live your best life ever!
